I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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