So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
