Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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