I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
