if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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