It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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