So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
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I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
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If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize