Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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