You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
