I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize