it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
