Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
