We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
