whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
