Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize