New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
apparently the secret to your success is patron
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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