His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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