i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
