The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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