Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
