i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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