you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
