I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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