So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
