I accidentally had phone sex last night
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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