He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
