I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just had sex on a roof
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize