his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
