i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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