i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize