So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
