omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize
