Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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