Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
