Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
