No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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