Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
