Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
