perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
