I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
