If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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