i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
only if we run a train.
done.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
