My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You smell like stripper and shame
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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