is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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