so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Randomize
