i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
