i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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