Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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