Me. At least after what I've been through.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
