allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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