Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
