I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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