i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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