my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There's always time for handjobs
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
