atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Less talking, more tequila
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
