Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
