Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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