so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
