it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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