But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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