come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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