Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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