if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
