I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
