It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
