no, he came in my armpit
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
