dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
