Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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