I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
