Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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