You just made me feel so damn special
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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