so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
