he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
