You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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