are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
