there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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