Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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